boxes

I know you think I mailed you every imaginable thing from my casa that reminds me of you. I didn't.
The morning at the dav when you woke me up to my favorite coffee, and on the straw was the note "marry me chanel" I put that in a special place.
One time when you visited for work, you came downstairs and wrote on a sticky note that you love me. I kept that.
The love letters given to me because you couldnt find the words to express how you felt about me. I also saved those. I saved every book you gave me.
I saved all of the really important things. I hold on to them, close to my heart, in an attempt to grasp any tiny shred of our love that may still linger on it. Hoping that if there is some still there, that I can absorb it. Its totally stupid i know. You became home for me. and know I feel so totally lost without you. I feel like you took this chunk of my being and I am unprepared for that. You were home, now this apt doesnt feel the same. Remember in butte when you were swimming in the pool talking and laughing. That is the real us. and now Im searching for who i am.

I love you.


Im waiting for the day I see you at work and I bust out singing it.