well

well im in deep. no way out of this one. I guess I just gotta bit the bullet and take the hit. I don't know. The weird thing about all of this is that I knew nothing was ever going to happen. Nothing ever did happen and nothing was ever going to. It started out as a sick joke and got carried away. I also do not know how this came in the open, nor does it matter. To say that these things werent encouraged would be a lie. None-the-less I should have known better I should have stopped. I don't think i thought about it beyond a fantasy, and therefore didn't think about the fact it could hurt people. But it did, and I guess when I wrote it down it became beyond a fantasy....
to say that the only way i can be me is to have been molested as a child, and to say that everything out of my mouth is a lie is harsh and unture. for once I have been more honest about myself than I have ever been, and this makes me think that even though I seek help, they wont believe that it is me. They don't know me, they should know I'm not like them. I'm a city girl and city girls are different than country girls. I don't want to get married till I'm 30. I think before thirty is logically a bad decision bc the divorce rate is below 50% once you hit the age of thirty....
that's besides the point. In the end I know that no matter what I say or do I know in my heart they will still tolerate me and possibly love me but they will in fact never accept parts of me, and in that never accept me.