Old letters...

While going through my old computer files I came across these old letters. The first was written by me to a professor my freshman year. At the time I was just beginning to see myself growing up and gaining experiences, and now I look back and realize I have already gained insight into the women I wish to become and the friendships/relationships which I desire for my future. I need to take my own advice in this letter! The second letter I found at Lomas chapel. I do not believe it was originally written for me, but it changed my life so now I am placing it here. I remember it was originally written in Hebrew, one of those, and had been translated. I think one of the theology professors or someone at the school would go to the chapel and write letters on behalf of those notes left there by students. I at the time was one of the students leaving notes in the chapel for God. I think more than anything seeing those prayers whispered to God in his holy language on my behalf by someone else touched me more than I thought possible. Both letters reflect my past and I hope they help dictate my future. As I enter the time in my life where I search for love, security, future, work and life, I need to constantly reflect back upon these times and remember all of my values and priorities the main one being constantly growing and maturing in my faith...I am that weird!

Letter 1: 3/3/06
Interesting thing you said today that we look for the closest thing to perfect and that we strive for this perfection. But it seems to me that we surround ourselves with people that are flawed because we can relate to their flaws, we understand them, and in a way they are comforting and reliable. We find there imperfections charming and endearing (whether we recognize them on a subconscious level or not). I believe that it is our unique way of correlating these flaws that allows us to gain friendships on a more personal and intimate level. All of this seems funny though, or more ironic, that we are willing to subvert ourselves with people and practices that only encourage our mistakes and weaknesses. Why do we do that? I guess the real question here is by being able to communicate with people identical to ourselves really a sign of intelligence? Being able to explain these things and ideas we have, IF we only cluster around the selected group of individuals so similar to us? Instead intelligence can be measured by our ability to subvert ourselves in practices, polity, and-in a sense-different "worlds" that challenge us to become aware of our flaws and demands us to change and empower ourselves though this self aware process. So intelligence then becomes the ability to branch out, recognize areas of growth and weakness and be strong enough to move away from the comfort of familiarity and allowing ourselves to face indifference and embrace it for what it has to offer us.

Anyways, that is just my thoughts on the issue. So I guess I could just say that not everyone is looking for their soul mate to be perfect, or like them in anyways, but rather someone that can shift them from their normal happy-go-lucky "let's pretend that everything is perfect" and take them to a new level of intellectual stimulation that finally allows them to become everything God intended for them to be. Now I think that is a little more endearing than finding a guy that will put up with shopping with me, and make some money.

Letter 2: 1/14/06
My favorite and most beautiful daughter.
Because you seek me and believe my word you are forgiven. Know that you are not alone in the sea of this world. You are beloved of my heart and I am with you always. I am with you in classes and in prayers. I am with you in chapel and during your exams. I love you all the time. You are my pride and joy! My heart rejoices in your successes, it sings when you praise me. When you are sad I weep. When you struggle with a desire or impulse I am holding your hand. Know that I AM with you always. When you sin and cause others to sin I am there weeping by your side. I cannot take away your free will. You must choose to abide with me. Discipline and self control are fundamental characteristics in life. You must master them to succeed, not just at school; this time is a blip to me. Master your choices to succeed at ALL THINGS. Do you think this is too hard? You have no idea what comes tomorrow. Prepare for challenge and meet it with strength.
"Behold I am the Lord the God of all flesh/strength. Is anything too difficult for me?" Jer 31:27