(703): Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...

So many things are going through my head right now. I got the job today at Farmers. Go me. No one asked about it but I did. But my grandma wants me to move to Montana sooooo bad she offered me one of her new two bedroom townhouses for $450 a month and she found me a job at a hospital in their finance department. Idk what to do.
Their is a good chance I might be moving next Monday to Montana. And I mean a GOOD chance.

Second. I'm over you texting me.
Stop.

Third. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I really hate myself. I think of how much better I should be. How much stronger I need to be. Then I think of you, and I think "God, why the hell don't you try harder on yourself?" and I think that's what bugs me sooooo much about you. Because I can try will all my effort and never reach the potential you can reach, and you don't even try. It pisses me off. I don't get you, and maybe I don't want to. Sometimes I think your a waste of a friend because you bug the shit out of me. Other times I wonder why you aren't a closer friends because you push me to make up for the slack in your life.
I wish you could see yourself in my eyes. It might make you mad at first but then I think you would see how I see past all your bullshit and excuses. I'm going to send you my notes from church. You need them. Just because you have failed doesn't mean you get to sit there and fling your arms around in a tantrum about how horrible life is and how wounded you are. Suck it up. You have the world and your fingers and you don't take it because you are a chicken. Yes I said that. You are a chicken and you are afraid to grow up. You want to be 21 FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER. Well life doesn't work that way. Sometimes people leave you and you need to move on. Sometimes we don't end up in the career of our dreams, but we push ourselves to be our best and that's what counts. Your so selfish in your mind and in your life and it's all holding you back. God I wish I could punch you out of love to wake you up from this gay-ass dream of yours.